Project Toddler Garden 2012: Ready to plant

Well thanks to the hard work of my awesome husband the garden is ready to go!

I was able to go out and pull the left over weeds while the boy napped. It was a different way to spend Sunday afternoon but it was peaceful. Despite the little friend that popped out at me - I deserve credit for not screaming! Gold stars and cookies wouldn't be turned away either.

We've made a plan and drawn it out. Most of it can't go in yet as the last frost hasn't happened, but I plan to get the peas and onions in by the weekend at least. Ideally I would do them after work but with it being busy this week we'll have to see.

I think the beans and zucchini will have to go in early and hope for the best because they're growing like weeds already! I almost want to get the blueberries and strawberries in early too they are doing so well I think they could handle it.

I'm ridiculously excited about this project considering I used to hate it as a kid! It's amazing how seeing something through the eyes of a child can change your mind.

Outgrowing their current space already - need to get them in the ground

Here we are all ready to go!

This guy crawled out of the ground and up my glove! I didn't scream - where's my prize?

This is our garden 'map'

Project Toddler Garden 2012

I may be slightly crazy in taking on this project. I'm a girly girl. I hate dirt, bugs, and I burn like a lobster in 20 mins without SPF 100. Generally I'm a fan of the indoors. However, I had a little boy and boys like all these things. Also, they shouldn't be deprived of learning the joys of things they could love because their mothers are whimpy girly girls.

So I decided it would be a good idea to clean up and finally USE the garden in our backyard. We moved here 5 years ago and haven't done anything with it yet. What better reason or excuse is there than an active nearly 2yr old who needs to get fresh air and play in dirt?

My husband is currently working on a bazillion projects around the house but he's been gracious enough to put them on hold for me and my crazy plan. The garden is huge and has previously been used as a dumping ground of sorts. I required his strength and energy to remove the cement pads and overgrowth.

Today is day one of major garden work. He's moved the cement pads and cleaned up the overgrowth. As I write this he's out there using the rototiller to mix the new soil into the old, prepping it for me to weed and plant.

I'm so grateful. This isn't what he'd planned for the day but in my excitement I jumped the gun on plant purchases and indoor seedling planting. We need it ready soon! Hopefully we will have luck with the weather too because it's still early in the year for planting.

CBear and I went to help with the general cleanup this morning. It was just as I'd hoped. He loved running around trying to hold the big shovel like Daddy, putting rocks in the wheelbarrow, eating dirt and just being a boy. Daddy even found a worm to show CBear who promptly put that nasty thing in his mouth! Naturally I stood there squealing and trying not to barf. <---Girly Girl!

You can look forward to updates about our gardening adventure - I'll need to share the creepy crawlers I find!

Garden before we did anything to it

Two Blueberry plants (CBear's favorite in the whole world) and one Strawberry

Closest half is zucchini and the farther half is red beans

My Worst Nightmare Brought To Life

Today something so terrifying that I haven't fully processed it yet happened. It didn't happen to a friend of a friend in some far away place. It was my son, my heart, my world and it was in my own backyard.

It was like any other day. We arrived at home and CBear wanted to play outside. We put our things in the house and went to the back yard. He decided he wanted to ride in the snow sled after having dragged it around so I took the rope and pulled him around the yard. I made it around once before I was silently cursing my husband for having left it out and made my way to the garden chairs to sit and catch my breath.

At this point CBear began wandering looking for things of interest. I will be honest, I don't watch him like a hawk when he does this. I usually have my phone with me & I use this time to check Twitter etc. He's a boy he doesn't want to play with his toys he wants to investigate and check out all the stuff he's not allowed to have. I really try not to micro-manage this time of discovery for him; it's important he be able to do it in his own way. I still check him constantly, don't get me wrong, he's a BOY he will destroy things in 2 seconds flat and eat a ton of dirt or rocks if I let him!

So there I sat, phone in hand, waiting for a telltale sound, or lack thereof to indicate I should pay attention. I glanced up to see him bent down. He appeared to be looking at something really close to the ground. Initially this didn't concern me. Then my brain started working...

CBear's head was down, his bum was up, his arms were at his sides not on the ground where they should be. As the fog lifted I realized he was near a tarp my husband had left out, on our sled ride I'd noticed some water pooled on the other side, maybe there was some on this side as well.

Even in that moment that I realized what he was doing, it only occurred to me that he was probably trying to drink it. He does this with the bath water all the time so I still wasn't worried as I got up and made my way to him. It wasn't far. I didn't rush. I was merely going to scold him for drinking nasty dirty water!

As I got closer, CBear got his footing and was able to stand up. I reached him at that same moment. I'll never forget the wet bubbly sound of that first gasping breath he took. It was then that I realized what had happened.

My son, with his not yet 2yr old toddler legs had bent over to check out the dirt in the pool of water. His young body is still not balanced in weight to his head and he was pulled forward. I imagine the cold water hitting his face probably caused him to gasp in shock. That could have been it right there. Many children wouldn't have been able to find their footing, or stabilize themselves to get back out of the water. CBear did. And if he hadn't I was there. I would've pulled him from the water and saved him. I can't let myself think of what might've been had I not looked up at just that moment.

This all happened in seconds. It felt like minutes, hours even. In reality I'd be surprised if somebody told me it had even been a whole minute.

He cried, more out of fear than anything, I held him and tired to stay calm. No sense in scaring him further. I kissed him, told him it was ok, dried the water dripping from his face. You'd never know, seeing us then, that anything so terrifyingly close to his drowning had happened.

So lesson learned. I hope you learn it from me and don't have to experience this yourself. Your child can drown in mere inches of water. If you have a pond, a pool, a river or creek near your home PLEASE take safety precautions to keep your little ones alive!

Monday Meditations

Life is not a reality TV show!

Have you noticed how people are obsessed with these shows? There's the singing ones & adventure ones truly there is no end to the things they'll make a show about these days.

It would seem that we spend so much time watching them that we have started to act like we're ON them.

Have you ever talked to somebody who starts to tell a story with a huge build up only to fall short with the actual point? Or the person who blows every little aspect of every day out of proportion?

I admit that I'm guilty of this myself. It got me thinking about WHY we do this. I think we'd all agree that those are the those most annoying aspects of our favorite shows. Why then do so many of us turn around and become melodramatic in our day to day lives?

I think we may be just as addicted to the false sense of importance this melodrama stimulates as we are to the shows we watch.

The problem is that this level of drama is not healthy. It promotes anxiety & a toxicity in the way we handle those around us.

So the next time I spill my coffee or trip over a toy or any of the other mundane things that happen to me in a day I promise to take breath & think before I speak. I vow to not tell stories with prolonged pauses & just get on with it! I will first ask myself 'who cares?' & if the answer is 'NOBODY' I will keep it to myself!

Here's to a little less drama & a lot more reality!

Hot Topics Tuesdays

I'm considering making this one of my blog 'things'.

Each week I'll choose a new Hot Topic to cover & I'll give my opinions on it. I love debates so let's bring on the discussions!

I have a few ideas I'd like to put out there but I'd love to hear yours as well so if you have a topic then let me know!

A blue day under a white blanket

I'm having one of those days. You know the kind. You wake up with every intention of filling every minute of the day with productive awesomeness.

You pour your coffee, sit down, take that first glorious sip and suddenly all inspiration flies out the window.

I fought the urge to glue myself to the couch and I accomplished some chores. We've been snowed in so my plans to go out disappeared with the colour outside. Decided to kick the snow in the face and go out anyways. We bundled up & took the sled out to play in the snow. Even cleared off the car so we could go out after nap time.

Thought I was winning the battle of the blues and then I looked outside at my cleared off car to see that it was completely covered again and we hadn't even made it TO nap time never mind after!

Everything went downhill from there & I've had zero motivation to do anything since.

Why is that? I mean how does that happen? I have a huge list of things to do. Projects, hobbies, chores you name it and yet I don't want to do any of it. Well, that's not true, I DO want to I just can't bring myself to start.

It makes no sense. I hope tomorrow is better.

Being a mommy is challenging. So many new obstacles to navigate each day always changing and evolving. This road gets more difficult when doing it solo; virtually impossible when mommy gets sick.

I've been sick recently. A lot as it would seem. Probably a product of being a working mom with a son in daycare. Or maybe it's because I'm taking on too much with this solo parenting Mommy Warrior situation.

I probably should've listened to my co-workers and taken a sick day earlier in the week. Perhaps if I had I would've rested & would be better by now. Hard to say for certain but I suspect that's true.

I didn't take the sick day because I'm stubborn & wanted to prove that I was okay. More importantly I simply couldn't reconcile how chasing my energetic toddler all day would be of any benefit to me. I would genuinely get more rest sitting at my desk.

I guess the biggest question here is why on earth would I assume that taking a sick day would equate to chasing my little boy who would normally be in daycare? I have two words for you. Mommy Guilt.

That's right I work a full time job & I still have mommy guilt over leaving him anywhere unnecessarily. I'm really not sure why. Nobody in my life has ever tried to make me feel that way. Quite the opposite actually.

When my daycare offered me a day off today I almost said no. Then my brain kicked in & I used what little energy I had left after getting CBear fed to get him there and home again. Then I proceeded to not waste my 'get well' time with chores and glued myself to the couch for mandatory rest time.

The truth of it is that he had WAY more fun playing with his friends than he would have if he'd been stuck with me all day. And in case I wasn't sure of that before I picked him up; he proved it by pitching a huge screaming kicking fit when I showed up because he didn't want to leave.

We proceeded to have a lovely evening of snuggles and a real cooked meal which I haven't had the energy for all week.

So going forward I'm pitching mommy guilt out the window. We both had a great day. Sure I missed him while my mind wasn't consumed with work & I waited anxiously for the moment I could go get him. I also enjoyed the first day in his entire 18 months where I didn't have to do anything but rest.